glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
