woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize