So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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