hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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