Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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