I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
