Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
