i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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