We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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