apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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