It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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