Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize