I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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