Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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