Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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