You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
