five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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