I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize