I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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