Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
