Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
