Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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