All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
