I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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