wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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