you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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Be still, my beating vagina.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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