i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
