Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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