I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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