No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
where am i from again
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
