You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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