Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she peed on how many people?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
