i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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