Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
