found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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