No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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