Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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