I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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