I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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