And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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