What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
