There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
