But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
whose parrot is this?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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