Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
