dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
