i would punch a child for taco bell
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
