dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
