as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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