We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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