I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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