so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
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The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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