What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow bdsm is so cute
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize