What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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