i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
