News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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