rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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