New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
