best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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