are you so shy because you have an std?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
