feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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