I wish I could punch you in the face.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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