i may or may not be watching the land before time
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
And then he peed in my hair
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