3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
