if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
